Do you want nipples to go with that?

“You have breast cancer and we will be removing your breasts. Would you like to keep your nipples?” As my head was spinning back in June from the first two statements the last was like “WTF are you talking about?” When you have a mastectomy you have the option to keep your nipples or have them removed. I choose to say good bye nips. They cannot guarantee you that they will get all the cancer cells out of them so I decided to get rid of them. Not to mention the whole idea of having them sewed onto my ass to save them was wiggity whack to me! True story, I know a woman who has a sister who had that done, BLAHAHAHAHAH!!  

Only 2 refills???

 So after my reconstruction my sweet plastic surgeon said “We have boxes of prosthesis nipples for you to choose from, if you would like.” A box of what?! Life is like a box of nipples you never know what you’re going to get. Sure enough they come in different sizes and colors, but alas no glittery pink ones. I see a market for this for sure. The doc needs to give you a prescription for them so do not try going down the nipple aisle at Wegman’s. Let me say you cannot pick up your prosthesis nipples at the Pharmacy at Target, you need a mastectomy store. Oh the things we learn through this process. Really sticker like, rubbery nipples, no fucking way!! But you know me and a good laugh is right up my alley. SO I brought the script to New Beginnings over in BrittionField, AWKWARD!!! The dear women that work there are older like grandmotherly and I hand them the slip of paper saying “I am here for my nipples”. “What dear speak up?!” UGH, nipples you are killing me here. They were awesome there and processed the order. I am sure the people at insurance get a kick out of running that through.

Oscar right???

 

At first I was like “This will make a great joke” and then I kept thinking of all the pictures Genevieve could take, ohhhhhh the possibilities are endless. When we took them out we couldn’t decide what to do first. After sticking them on things and making Oscar the Grouch. I tried them on…..WOW I look like I have real boobs. It changes your chest into real boobs, CRAZZZZYYYYY. Really it was wild how they made my boobs look well, REAL!! I totally understand why woman want these. They are not a joke at all. They build confidence and make you feel whole. They stick well too, now it’s not to guarantee they won’t fall off so beware! They instantly made me feel like I was well “normal”, do not say it. At first we didn’t think they would show but as you can see they do. I know you won’t want to “nip out” all the time but that is without a bra, just a sweatshirt, so with layers they don’t pop as much.  This whole process is insane. Every step is strange, educational and scary all wrapped together. I never in a million years would think I would be writing about prosthesis nipples, holy shit! Next chapter hysterectomy, that should be interesting……..