SDBC

Write a health acrostic for your condition, hashtag, or username! (acrostic = a poem where every letter of a word serves as the first letter of a word or phrase i.e. DOG = Digs Others’ Gardens)
Seriously WEGO??! LOL

Stupid Dumb Breast Cancer

Sometimes
Terrifying things happen.
Understand that 
People are 
In your corner.
Don’t stop believing.
Dare yourself to be
Unstoppable.
Make
Bullets of your
Breasts.
Remember
Everyone has a different
Attitude and 
Shoes!
Times will be
Crazy but use
Anything to make you smile.
Notice how
Cancer doesn’t
Ever take away the 
Real YOU!
 This poem was written with the help of my 10 year old son who is working on poems at school and my 4th grade teacher husband (who loves this stuff)

I talk to my self cause there is no one to talk to

If you could go back in time and talk to yourself (or your loved one) on the day of diagnosis, what would you say? WEGO Day 12

Funny cause I talk to myself all the time, like even when I'm in the store and I think no ones listening I'm that lady. As I read this my house is quiet, 5:30 in the morning does that sometimes, I was already talking to myself. I had this odd picture of myself having coffee with myself, don't call the psych ward just yet.  The breast cancer self is sitting there stunned while the non cancer self won't shut the hell up. 

"Fuck, are kidding me? This sucks? But what are you going to do! You are not CANCER. you are a lot of things it cancer is not one of them. I do not not want the woe is me crap either so get that right out of you head! That's life, so don't start crying now. Well cry right now then get over it. You should know that cancer does not discriminate. It doesn't care that for the past 7 years you have worked hard to fight this beast. Oh they irony is too crazy. So here is what you will do. Get a mastectomy then whatever else they tell you you need in order to deal with this. You are going to fight like the crazy Italian you are and you will take no prisoners. Seriously get yourself under control and don't let this consume you. Your family is going to drive you crazy with love and your friends are going to want to help, let them don't be an idiot. you need these people don't push them away, you would want to help them. Yes,  your screwed from here on in you will be battling, but guess what you are just the average woman with breast cancer. Do something about it! Make something of this damned situation. No dumb ass you won't find a cure you have no ideas how to do that! But you know how to throw a party, so do that. I am not saying that cancer is a party but people love a party so throw one, for breast cancer. Ok look you will be fine, maybe not today or tomorrow but you will be, you're not dead yet so fight. I know you can beat this, you will be stronger because if this and hopefully less bitchy. Ya know I got shit to do, if you need to to talk, text me you know I'm here for you. Look truth is shit happens to good people you aren't that good but you ain't bad either. So straighten that tiara and go get em princess!"

Dontcha wish your doctor was hot like…

Write about your favorite health iPhone app? day 11
http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=VsyE2rCW71o&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DVsyE2rCW71o
Ok yes it's completely sexist, but lets just say everyone needs a healthy friendly reminder. Especially one that will grab your attention. If only they were the actual doctors doing the exam. No disrespect to any of mine, but come on!

Or Write about your favorite social network. Do you love Twitter? Facebook? Pinterest? Why? 
I have so many bloggers, tweeters, pincers I love I could never choose one. But I do have a more global one that is just great! You can connect with others with cancer in any easy format. http://www.ihadcancer.com/  I HAD CANCER is set up so you can search your cancer, age, and area. Making it very simple to connect with cancer warriors that best fit you. Questions are asked and answered plus they do guest blogs. I have connected with so many on this sup easy web page.
I hope every checks out both but let’s face it everyone of you ladies and some of you guys, are downloading that Man App!

Semi wordless Wednesday

Why is this picture my favorite? You know I love a list, let me count the ways.

1. It's hours after a long surgery and I'm up. A mastectomy is no joke but this was my easiest to bounce out of anesthesia.
2. It's me and my daddy. I waited to walk until he came back up. He has held my hand my whole life and this was priceless.
3. I'm in some beautiful shoes! My legs look pretty damn good, you gotta love a good stiletto.
4. We both have such smiles of relief on our faces.
5. The nurses were totally freaking out and wouldn't let me walk farther than the door.
6. My dad was holding on so tight he left a mark on my hand.
7. My hair still looks good after surgery, thanks Duke!
8. I felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders, well 2 boobs but still clear nodes!!
9. I look so friggin tall cause my dad is so friggin short.
10. The best part....I have 4 drains hanging from my pjs!!

DeSkunking

BLAHAHAAH I got the power

WEGO Health Day 8 challenge…..If your health condition (or the health condition of a loved one!) was  an animal, what would it be? Is it a real animal or make believe? Seriously?? Animal? Well even though it is 6:30am and I am a mother of 4 I feel like I need to smoke a joint in order to complete this mission. I guess I will settle for an espresso. I was thinking a one-eyed, one horn, flying purple people eater because It eats people but I really love the color purple. Maybe a zombie? A leach would work too. Ugh this is hard, damn you WEGO! WAIT, great Scott I have got it (who the hell is Scott?)! I think that cancer would be a skunk, cause it stinks! One might think a skunk is soft and cute until it unleashes it stench. You have all those cancer cells inside you and on the outside you look fine but inside is stinking up the body! Hence the wonderful phrase “You don’t look sick”. It takes a lot of work to get that skunk smell out of whatever it attacked, have you ever tried getting that smell out of well anything?? You think the first round of the crazy concoction  worked then about an hour later the smell hits you and it is back to mixing a remedy. Much like cancer you think that you are getting that crap out of you then you get sprayed again. It takes energy, determination and treatments to get deskunked. I wonder if the home remedy would work on cancer? Now there is a study! It even calls for latex gloves, is anyone allergic to latex?

• 1 quart (or liter) of 3% Hydrogen Peroxide, H₂O₂.
  Use fresh (unopened) hydrogen peroxide (H₂O₂). Hydrogen peroxide eventually turns into water (H₂O).
• 1/4 cup (50 ml.) of Baking Soda
• 1 teaspoon (5 ml.) of Liquid Soap
• 1 pair of plastic or latex gloves

I know this Chinese herbalist in the mountains that has the answer no mastectomy needed

“Read all about it! Miracle cure-all discovered deep in the heart of the Amazon!”

WEGO health challenge Day 7, write the most ridiculous thing someone said about our health. This could be the longest blog post ever written! I have had the craziest thing ever said to me. From saying I don't have "real" cancer, to take 2 vitamins and you are cured, to your so excited. I have chosen the top 3, I was going to do the Top 10 like Letterman, but my kids are so pissed cause SU lost they are incredibly annoying Apparently that is worse than having cancer. 

Let me first state that there are comments made from people that just don't know what to say. I get that, people don't like being faced with the scary reality of life. Sometimes if you just think for a second before you speak things like "aren't you excited to get fake boobs?" Won't come out! Excited? Really, having a double mastectomy to get rid of breast cancer is not at all exciting or lavish. It was the direct opposite. My comment usually was " yeah having cancer is more exciting than going to Disney". 

"You are so lucky to have the easy cancer, it isn't really cancer"! Seriously you just said that? When a doctor uses the words "you have cancer" guess what, it's cancer. When your choices are a double mastectomy or a lumpectomy with radiation, guess what you have cancer! When you spend the next years going through surgeries, scans, blood work you have cancer. If only it was lucky everyone would want it. Yes there are different stages, types but cancer is well cancer.

But the best one ever was a call I got. I had an article written in the paper about me and they put my phone number in there. Sort of like having your number written in the bathroom stall of the biggest bar ever. Thanks for sharing Post Standard, Verizon loved having me go over in minutes.   I got a ton of crazy calls telling me all sorts of advice and cures. A man called and wanted me to come to his house, sure I will be right over. He has the cure for cancer and the government won't listen, oh I am a good listener. If you take these 2 pills you are cured, I have never been a pill popper but this could be the answer. He wanted to know when I wanted to come over, I said now but all my friends discouraged me. I don't kniw seems legit, right?!