Monday, September 16, 2013

Boob job my ass

“Oh so you get a free tummy tuck too” WTF seriously FREE!! I had cancer that is where this all started not because I am obsessed with friggin Nip N’ Tuck. I never once asked for these foobs nor did I want them.  No offense what so ever to those with tucks and nips, none that was your choice and you should have at it. I have not yet met at cancer badass that has said “Phew I really enjoyed this whole process, I am sooooo happy I got cancer cause this is just what I wanted”. NO A SINGLE ONE!

I was going along fine with my floppy, breast feed out boobs just fine. Sure they sagged but they were mine oh mine.  Then BAM got cancer and it all unfolded. I needed to decided then whether it was lumpectomy or mastectomy, reconstruction or flat and fabulous. There was no one telling me to slow down and really think this through, what it is you want in the end. It happened so fast I made decisions based on what I thought people did. I had never wanted implants but it seemed my only option. Honestly I may seem all brave and together but I am not any of that when the idea of going flat was brought up. Call me vain but I needed to have something there. So I got expanders that they pumped up then had the implants put in.  That may seem so cut and dry but until you are in it the feeling is surreal, especially with cancer looming over head. Which from the get go I hated, no I will not go on again about how fake they are but that is how I feel like an alien. I have plenty of friends that feel great in the implants and are ok with them, but again they did not ask for them.

For me they are not working, not physically, mentally or anything in between.  So it is the DIEP and the real me. At the cost of a long mother fucking surgery, major recovery and whatever else is thrown at me but I did not ask for this. I need this for my recovery for my healing from CANCER. That is the difference. I did not call the plastic surgeon to ask for a tummy tuck/boob job, I went in for my follow up from this lumpy ass journey and that is what we decided.  I do not olok forward to a flat stomach (ok a little but that isn't what the big picture is about), I look forward to feeling like ME just a little.

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE if you are reading this blog I hope you get the message I am trying to say.  If not let me clarify that  saying “Oh you are so lucky to get a free boob job” or “Oh boy a free tummy tuck” or “Aren’t you happy to have free perky boobs?” should never be said, ever! Add the neuropathy, lymphedema, nerve damage, weight gain and all the other crap that we get on top of the CANCER and it is not free, the price we pay is beyond what anyone can afford.  

This princess loves to ask for free shoes, a sparkly tiara on sale or a great price on a dress because those are fabulous! Getting cancer for a Nip N’ Tuck not so fabulous, just saying.