Friday, September 13, 2013

Perfect marriage, blahahahahaah

16 ever loving years of marriage 21 years together are we friggin crazy???? Yes a little. I hate those people that say they have the “perfect marriage” “we never fight”, its bullshit total BS. I could give you the whole “a marriage is built on….. “ (fill in the blanks) but every marriage needs something different.  We are so far from perfect we boarder insanity, but we don't give up on each other, top that suckas. Tom and I are total opposites and sometimes that works and sometimes it doesn’t. We fight, have our challenges but at the end of the day we lay next to each other in loving comfort. Does that make the fact he doesn’t shut the lights off when he leaves a room ok, oh hell no but I still love him. When he silently corrects my grammar I know he just can’t help it and he loves me, it’s when he vocally corrects it I wanna smack him. We drive each other crazy and that is all part of this wacky marriage.

Stupid Dumb Breast Cancer changed me, him and our marriage. I have met so many who had their marriage destroyed because of the beast. I am proud to say it made us stronger. We have learned that we each are hurting through this and we respect that. We both decided that we would not let cancer consume our marriage and we fought like hell to understand each other. Tom learned that he can’t save me from cancer and all I needed was for him to hold my hand, I love that part just love it.  Cancer exhausted us both of us, ok me more but I will give him that he suffered from sleep too. Tom doesn’t care what my scars look like, how much weight I gain or how insane this has made me, he really doesn’t. I guess you can say I am lucky, pretty damn lucky.For a man that doesn’t like to be public he stands by my big mouth and small foobs as my mission against cancer grows, I am so proud of him! Doesn’t that mean he always says the right thing or that I don’t fly off the handle no way just means we get the reasons why cancer has altered us forever.

thatfamilyThe damn kids never help a marriage I am sorry kids but it’s true. They add an insane amount of stress no doubt but when the morning comes and you have these 4 amazing monkeys snuggling with you in a full size bed it all makes sense. When we got married a couple that we love and respect said to me, “When you have kids do not put them before your marriage. Your marriage comes first”. I remember thinking that is cray cray, your kids should be your priority. But the reality is that if the marriage isn’t working the kids are suffering too. I get that statement more than I ever thought and this past year has amplified that.

 So as we celebrate our anniversary I can say that this week I sure do love Tom a lot, next week that may change but I am going for it. How many grammatical errors were in this blog post, ask Tom he will tell you??  I can say for certain through it all he does an amazing job of shining my tiara!!

pink ta


  1. "Tom learned that he can’t save me from cancer and all I needed was for him to hold my hand, I love that part just love it."
    ....made me cry

    congrats and hope you manage some lovin today

    1. Coming from the best man who sobbed harder than me at the wedding!! XOXOXO

  2. Your husband sounds like a wonderful, wonderful man.
    Your husband,

  3. dear Tom and Amer o,

    happy anniversary!!! I loved the story, I loved the photos, and I love your honesty. and the sense of humor, understanding who both of your are, and what you are together is totally inspiring. though cancer threw you a very skewed and hard ball, you loved each other enough to persevere and build an even bigger love for one another - and that's a real gift, one that will imprint itself on your wonderful children for the rest of their lives. so go forth, and celebrate the hell out of your SPECIAL DAY!!!

    much love, XOXO,

    Karen, TC

  4. Great post. Great hubby. Great wife! My BFF's mother once told me something very similar... that your children can never become more important than your marriage. Because the children grow up and leave. You don't want your husband doing that too.
    {{{hugs}}} and happy anniversary!

  5. Congratulations!! I'm with you - cancer can make or break a marriage. I'm so glad your husband is right by your side. Good Man!! Thanks for sharing your journey with so many of us. You're an inspiration! Love ya!

  6. This post made me smile and grin from ear to ear. It's raw with honesty and extremely positive.