|A sample ot today's work|
I started at a little before 7am and just finished. Yes it took me longer than normal, yes my back is killing, my chest is sore and yes I only made 13 instead of 16 different types of Holiday cookies. BUT I FUCKING DID IT!! Everyone kept saying "You don't have to make cookies this year", "This can be your year off", "Why bother?" I will certainly explain!
First, I am a baker and I love making cookies for Christmas. I have been doing this for so long I can not even remember when I wasn't making them. I have rules- well just one, stay out of my way! So Tom happily takes the kids out of the house all day. My entire family looks forward to my cookies. Cooking for people you care so much about when made with love is such an incredible feeling. I want them to feel that every year.
Second, I had to show myself that even through all that has happened, how I am feeling and what is up next, I can still do this. I realized how tired I was, so I stopped and didn't make the last three. Maybe I will or I won't, I am not worried. I have to admit cutting the bar cookies was difficult, which pissed me off but made me more determined.
Third, yes they drive me nuts and need to get the fuck out of the kitchen when I am bakin,g but when Tom and the boys came home smelled the house it was worth it. Anthony was excited his favorite kind were coming out of the oven, Sam wanted the three layers "so bad", Julian ate an Anise ball and proclaimed them the best, Ben took his favorite split levels to his buddy's and Tom tried at least four saying that this year his favorite was the Anise, like Jules. This made me feel like I gave cancer another kick. I know to some reading this you are like "She needs medication!", but right now being able to bake all day is huge. Making it to another holiday is magnificent!! I wanted to just be able to do this without stupid dumb breast cancer getting in the way.
|Happy Holidays from the Otis Family!|
Taken days after my double mastectomy
Anyone who knows me knows I do three things at the holidays, bake a ton of cookies all in one day (DONE!!), throw a killer Holiday party (next weekend, whoot whoot) and I have to be the first holiday card you get. Yes I know I could have taken this year off I get that. HELLLSSSS NOOOO!! I hope that when some of you (sorry I can not mail it out to everyone that visits my blog) got your mail today it was in there and you opened it. I even wrote on every single card, in pink of course. I love getting and giving holiday cards and I wasn't going to make this year any different. I love the holidays and my OCD ways!