Saturday, November 10, 2012


I love how they call it a "swap", makes me think of a swap met. Everything good yesterday. The doctor was  running a little late but we did not complain. After all I didn't want him to take it out on me. In a strange small world the women he did before me is friends with my good friend Lorrie, so I didn't want him to rush her. The nurses were all fantastic, my post and recovery nerve even found me a princess sticker! Genevieve was there snappy photos in really bad light, MC was there to keep the joking going strong. My sister was there on time none the less! My dad and G-Deb came and both did an exceptional job of not crying. Tom of course was there rocking a Stupid Dumb Breast cancer shirt. It was a small room but all fit in there chatting away. It was great to have them all there to keep my mind off of the surgery.

Of course I rocked some sparkly heels to give me even more attitude. Again the staff did not know what to make of me. Oh, and my surgery nurse is cousins with my neighbors growing up  and her BF is my cousins sister in law! And some other nurse knew some people from the Nort side that my dad was making the Italian connection. Most of the staff had heard about Stupid Dumb Breast Cancer and that was awesome! I left some business cards just in case there were ones that didn't.

We waiting patiently until the doc finished but when I saw him in the hall I felt much better. The    anesthesiologist came in to administer my sleepy nice nice medicine and had a hard time not looking at my shoes or Tom's shirt. She was sweet and quick, even better in my book! It was time to be wheeled off to OR. The drugs started to kick in and it felt like a big ol bong hit, yes I said that but have no memory. I do not even remember going past my peeps, gotta love those pharmaceuticals! I chatted with the staff while getting prepped, can't wait to hear what I said. I am pretty sure it was not at all inappropriate in the least. Well maybe a little. 

I woke up in recovery with my fabulous nurses ready to help. I had that anesthesia feeling, so groovy and uncontrollable. After being wheeled into the larger room I had the pleasure of meeting my friend' s friend, damn drugs can't remember her name! She looked great while I looked green. I hope that we can connect soon. The staff in that area was fabulous too. I feel so lucky to have had amazing doctors and nurse and other hospital staff. There is nothing there to bitch about.

I was out of it last night, groggy and tired. We enjoyed a delicious stew thanks to Stephanie which was the perfect thing for my nausea. Before surgery. I really wanted a McMuffin which I found out had ham. If you want it to have sausage then it's a sausage  McMuffin, who know!? I also wanted Fried fish sandwich, you would thought I was pregnant! So today I will rest and watch Teen Mom or Honey Boo Boo. The pain last night was strong then the drugs given but manageable. Funny how even pulling your pants up was hard. I can not wait to wrap my chest and see what it looks like. Nor can I wait to shower and wear deodorant and lotion. As my husband pointed out I look ashy! I feel better today and am so excited to be drinking a coffee with pumpkin spice. A big huge shout out to Joyce, Kelly and Dave' family and mu cousin Denise for registering for the race  yesterday, that made my day. now the rest of you fools get on that! Thanks so much for all your well wishes, good vibes and prayers. I really love it and can feel that positive energy. As the body takes time to heal  physically the mind has heal as week. That is why I insist on positive energy to help me through this. That and a killer pair of stilettos!

Friday, November 9, 2012


Hey all-
AM is out of surgery and the doc said all went well. Did she wear heels in? Of course. Was she loud and inappropriate? Yep. Did she kick cancer's ass? Officially. She'll need to be in recovery for a while, but will go home later today. Thank you all for your support and friendship through all of this. We hope this brings the hard part of this journey to a close. I'm sure she will post as soon as possible...


After a great night's sleep, BLAHAHAHAHAH, I am ready for a coffee or surgery. I wish I was going to be awake just before surgery to say "Scalpel", it sounds so doctor like. As I have said before, I have a very bad habit of saying the most inappropriate things while under, so this seems harmless. I stopped eating after midnight, good thing I didn't have the late night munchies. And now I get nothing, not even coffee, a mint, water, gum, WHY me why?? Ok so this is the rule before surgery but I really want coffee. Today is surgery number 4, YUK. I have seen my boobs change so much in the past 6 months it is crazy. From getting them mutilated at the lumpectomy (no fault of my amazing doctor- the nipple did not look great after), then they got lopped off and filled only to be cut open again and stuffed. I just can't wait to get them tattooed. Tom drew the prettiest magnolia and butterfly, gonna be hard to not show those off!

While I know there is not a limit to how many surgeries one can have, let's be honest. The more you have the higher the risk. There is always the risk of infection, I mean that is one hell of a cut they are making AGAIN, it is not paper cut. Not to mention I do not do well with anesthesia. PLUS, what shoes am I going to wear? I may have set the bar high with my mastectomy heels... And this random thought of the typical grandma comment keeps popping into my head, "make sure you have clean underwear on, cause you never know." Always cracks me up, but I am stressed I will pick the wrong underwear!  If only I had pink ribbon panties, LOL. I am scared they will open me up and see cancer all over and then I am screwed. Totally irrational, I know, but seriously this journey has been uncontrollable, hate it. The recovery (even though I hear you bounce back quick) will leave me laid up for awhile, I HATE SITTING STILL!! I want my real workouts back. I want to get rid of this 10 fucking pounds I put on. I am 4 feet 11 inches, that weight shows. It still blows my mind that they preform these surgeries then send you home that day. Do not get me wrong, I do not want to stay over, but there are people who need that stay. SHHIIITTT I come home to a house full of kids. I do not think I thought this through, looks like NyQuil for all!

Instead of sending me well wishes, cause let's face it I am just going to be laying there, send them to the doctor and the staff. Let your good vibes give my plastic surgeon a steady hand, calm, mind as he does his work. I swear if I wake up looking all Dolly Parton heads will roll! Hope that the hospital staff has the patience of a saint for dealing with me today and the humor of a comedian, they are going to need it. I just hope the waiting room is big enough for my entourage. I had a dream that my doctor was Edward Cullen's "father" from Twilight, yes I am too lazy to look his name up. I can not tell if dreaming your doctor is good or bad? I am more of a werewolf girl after all:)

Thank you to my cousin Heather who set up the mealtrain for next week. Although we do not need it, it is totally appreciated and I know people love to do that. We look forward to some good eats. Anthony told his class that when I had surgery "we had to eat his dad's cooking and deal with it". I am not sure what he is talking about because the meal train was awesome and my man makes one hellava pizza (for someone of the non-Italian species).

I will be signing off for now. Tom will blog later about surgery and tell you all how amazing I am and that he could not have a better wife. Then MC will post on FB how she is thinks that I am Superwoman and she wants her daughter to be just like me and not like her at all. Genevieve will be there snapping pictures and telling me to "work that hospital gown". My father, G-Deb, my brother and my sister will all be in the waiting room discussing how maybe just maybe I really am a princess after all......

Good bye to this stage of Stupid Dumb Breast Cancer

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

This is my journey

I will share my thoughts, feelings, and distinctly unconventional approach to breast cancer in a slide show presentation of photos documenting my battle with the disease. Directed toward young women, older teens, cancer survivors, and their loved ones, the presentation seeks to enlighten and inspire the audience and demystify the processes and procedures related to treatment. This is My Journey is another in a growing number of Stupid Dumb Breast Cancer events designed to promote early detection, encourage advocacy, and generate an honest and straightforward conversation that continues long after the “official” Breast Cancer Awareness Month has ended.

Please join me at Fayettevile Free Library for my story. The doors will open at 7pm and I will begin to talk at 7:30pm. I am looking forward to this "friendraiser". The library seats 150 people so please arrive on time. This is just another confirmation to the community support. Some of the photos will be on display in the lirbray for the month of December, check them out.

The pink is in her head

Here are the facts. Because I have been so open about this Stupid Dumb Breast cancer especially to the kids the pink is in their head. They will not whisper about self breast exams, they will do it at an early  age. They will make sure their doctors give them a base line mammogram. They will be aware of their bodies because they know what breast cancer does to someone, the physical, mental and emotional. They see how it hurts the family because they are hurting. But they will know how to support a friend who is fighting the battle!! I love you Riley not just because you are like a daughter to me but because one day you will be larger than life and I know you will always have some pink sparkle for me!

Monday, November 5, 2012

Stacks for Racks!

Tonight was the Trapper's II event "Stacks for Racks" and it was a huge success. We raised $1000 for our Cure or Bust Race for the Cure team and Cancer Control Division in Radiation Oncology at the University of Rochester. My sweet friend Luke is a researcher there and they are doing some fantastic studies on joint pain. I am looking forward to taking a tour soon and eating a garbage plate, well I want to see the hospital really! 

I can not begin to tell you what tonight was for me. This whole journey, my girlfriends have been with me every step of the way, some right now on my heels! But tonight their husbands showed me some crazy support. Yes, it was poker and yes there was beer involved and yes they won some money and YES they stayed until the kids were in bed. The reality is that they would not have been there if they didn't  care about me or my rack. A special thanks to Brent's  dad Tom, the VFW donated a very generous and sweet envelope of money to us, again thanks that was so sweet.

A MAJOR like huge thanks to Trapper's II for hosting this event. I can not wait until the next poker and the "Bunco for the Bust" being held there. The staff is fantastic, the food yum and drinks cold! Alyssa was beyond helpful tonight, thanks so so much. My girlfriend Katie, even though she was sick, came down and helped run the desk until I got there! She has been so supportive and tonight would not have happened if she wasn't there. Damn 12 year old concert getting in my fund raising fun way! My hubby who normally stands by my side, was da man! I loved seeing him in stupid dumb breast cancer action, love you TFO.

The winners of the night go to Tom Stedman for 3rd, Rick Volcano for 2nd and Brent Stedman for 1st!! Andy Miller went away with the flat screen TV, I am sure one of his girls will be taking that.. My cousin Tommy won some SU tickets for this weekend, boy I hope he takes my friggin kids. Thanks again for all your generosity!