Friday, November 9, 2012

Scalpel



After a great night's sleep, BLAHAHAHAHAH, I am ready for a coffee or surgery. I wish I was going to be awake just before surgery to say "Scalpel", it sounds so doctor like. As I have said before, I have a very bad habit of saying the most inappropriate things while under, so this seems harmless. I stopped eating after midnight, good thing I didn't have the late night munchies. And now I get nothing, not even coffee, a mint, water, gum, WHY me why?? Ok so this is the rule before surgery but I really want coffee. Today is surgery number 4, YUK. I have seen my boobs change so much in the past 6 months it is crazy. From getting them mutilated at the lumpectomy (no fault of my amazing doctor- the nipple did not look great after), then they got lopped off and filled only to be cut open again and stuffed. I just can't wait to get them tattooed. Tom drew the prettiest magnolia and butterfly, gonna be hard to not show those off!

While I know there is not a limit to how many surgeries one can have, let's be honest. The more you have the higher the risk. There is always the risk of infection, I mean that is one hell of a cut they are making AGAIN, it is not paper cut. Not to mention I do not do well with anesthesia. PLUS, what shoes am I going to wear? I may have set the bar high with my mastectomy heels... And this random thought of the typical grandma comment keeps popping into my head, "make sure you have clean underwear on, cause you never know." Always cracks me up, but I am stressed I will pick the wrong underwear!  If only I had pink ribbon panties, LOL. I am scared they will open me up and see cancer all over and then I am screwed. Totally irrational, I know, but seriously this journey has been uncontrollable, hate it. The recovery (even though I hear you bounce back quick) will leave me laid up for awhile, I HATE SITTING STILL!! I want my real workouts back. I want to get rid of this 10 fucking pounds I put on. I am 4 feet 11 inches, that weight shows. It still blows my mind that they preform these surgeries then send you home that day. Do not get me wrong, I do not want to stay over, but there are people who need that stay. SHHIIITTT I come home to a house full of kids. I do not think I thought this through, looks like NyQuil for all!

Instead of sending me well wishes, cause let's face it I am just going to be laying there, send them to the doctor and the staff. Let your good vibes give my plastic surgeon a steady hand, calm, mind as he does his work. I swear if I wake up looking all Dolly Parton heads will roll! Hope that the hospital staff has the patience of a saint for dealing with me today and the humor of a comedian, they are going to need it. I just hope the waiting room is big enough for my entourage. I had a dream that my doctor was Edward Cullen's "father" from Twilight, yes I am too lazy to look his name up. I can not tell if dreaming your doctor is good or bad? I am more of a werewolf girl after all:)

Thank you to my cousin Heather who set up the mealtrain for next week. Although we do not need it, it is totally appreciated and I know people love to do that. We look forward to some good eats. Anthony told his class that when I had surgery "we had to eat his dad's cooking and deal with it". I am not sure what he is talking about because the meal train was awesome and my man makes one hellava pizza (for someone of the non-Italian species).

I will be signing off for now. Tom will blog later about surgery and tell you all how amazing I am and that he could not have a better wife. Then MC will post on FB how she is thinks that I am Superwoman and she wants her daughter to be just like me and not like her at all. Genevieve will be there snapping pictures and telling me to "work that hospital gown". My father, G-Deb, my brother and my sister will all be in the waiting room discussing how maybe just maybe I really am a princess after all......

Good bye to this stage of Stupid Dumb Breast Cancer





15 comments:

  1. Damn I wish I had a snarky comment but you left me without one. You know I so hate that. You are right though I want my daughter to grow up to be like you, strong, outspoken, loving, loyal, caring, but minus the breast cancer. I know what you do you do for her and all of her generation so they won't have to be always wondering "when?" You rock baby sister and today is just another adventure. I'm there to make sure they don't put those implants into your biceps (i know you'd love that). xoxo

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    1. You are lucky I'm too tired to respond xo thanks for being there today!

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  2. They are going to look fabulous. Every twenty year old will be jealous, but not just because you will have perky boobs, but because you are a strong, caring women! Good vibes coming your way and your doctor's way.

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  3. Bye Bye tissue expanders - I found INSTANT relief when they were OUT of me! Wishing you that feeling too1

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    1. Bonnie, yeahoooo no expanders. Tired as hell. Genevieve showed me a pic of you, you look amazing I'm so jealous! Lol and porous to call you "friend"!!

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  4. I was diagnosed with breast cancer this week and I am having surgery on Monday. Your blog is amazing. I love your pink stilettos in the hospital...I'm going to wear my new ass kickin' boots! Comfortable clothes? I want leggings and sparkle! Good luck today...I'll be following your blog.

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    1. Teresa please flow low the FB page www.facebook.com/stupiddumbbreastcancer.com keep me posted of your surgery and I need I mean need to see the boots! Love it and your attitude, sending you lots of glitter and a dash of sparkle��

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  5. magnolia and butterfly huh?.......
    hugs (ouch) n smooches from Brooklyn

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    1. Yippee! Yes Tom drew them and I love it! Kisses to you I can not hug!

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  6. Anne Marie... You are awesome! Praying for the docs and nurses... and you too!! <3

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  7. I had to get Lefty replaced on November 1 and I am so pleased with them now. They match! I didn't have expenders as I was SO huge before my bilat, I was able to have my implnats put in on the same day as my bilat. Six hour surgery but worth it to not have to deal with expanders. I am still deciding whether to get nipples tattooed or something else tattooed or just leave them as is. The scars don't bother me, and I am concerned if I tattoo then I need to replace an implant again, the tattoos will get effed up.

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    1. That is a good concern but doc and tat guy said that there are ways around it to make sure they are not compromised!

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    2. Symptoms of Mesothelioma its a type of cancer ................. its a good blog keep it up

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