Huff, ink and UGH

http://live.huffingtonpost.com/#r/segment/personal-ink-breast-cancer-pinterest-molly-ortwein/512f664e02a7601f8100038f
TWEET Tweet Tweet Tweet ok I admit it I do not know what the hell I am doing on Twitter. NO CLUE! Someone said maybe “we” are too old, oh hell no I am 29 remember? My little cousin tried to explain but I tuned him out because well frankly I do not care. I use it how I want to use it and the hell with the rules. So sometimes I RT, sometimes I tweet or quote or favorite sometimes I don’t. But Thursday I tweeted to my new favorite Pinterest page Personal P.ink http://pinterest.com/personalink/ . The page is amazing! It is site for mastectomy survivors to post, share, get ideas about INK!!! Yes, ink to cover, celebrate take over those scars we HATE.I got a RT (retweet for you fools who do not know Twitter) from Meg from Huffpost live. Huffpost live is part of Huffington Post but live news feed. They were doing a segment on Molly the badass who inspired her brother in law, Noel to start Personal P.ink. They wanted me to come on too! Huffpost is my fav news outlet, so I was all excited and honored. It was a pleasure to work with all involved and I think it made for an amazing piece, watch it and you be the judge! Of course you know me, this got my wheels turning and I really hope to work with Molly and Noel in the very near future. They just met me but you know how I am when I get an idea….   INK


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I started my chest piece this week. My friend DJ owns Halo tattoo and my ink master. He knows I have wanted to get this done since the doctors first cut into me. BUT he is a smart tattooist and told me no way not yet. I was bummed but he wants my scar tissue to heal some more. So I started the butterfly that Ben drew. “Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly”. Ben drew the butterfly so that the wings would not be the same, like a real butterfly. What he didn’t realize is that my breasts weren’t the same. The right was full of cancer, the left had a “probable benign’ spot (wtf I HATE that saying). The butterfly is over my right side were the cancer was growing. I feel like I am making my chest my own. I could not control this cancer growing or the mastectomy and these scars but I can control what they will look like. Molly has these gorgeous flowers that remind her of Brazil, a special place to her. That is just it special to HER, making her chest hers again. Will this take away the scars, make them unseen? NO but they make them OURS!! The breasts are fake anyways, like a blank canvas so way not paint away??? I really have to say did not feel much of it, except when I got to the breast bone. I actually told DJ I could fall asleep in the chair.   UGH So the Drag Show is tomorrow!!! And I waited until the last minute to get a dress, what the hell was I thinking?? Shoes I got, from an old friend who saw a pair in BUFFALO and she bought them for me and I love them. Friday night me and 3 friends hit Destiny USA. I had an idea in my messed up, scary, cancermenopause head of what I wanted. I wanted sparkly, loud, BRIGHT pink CHEESINEES. Could I find that, NO! Not for lack of trying, anyone who has been shopping with me knows I am an ADD spaz. I tried on lots but none were it. Since I have been nothing but honest here I will explain a few things. There was a whole list of reasons why I walked out of there without shit. 1. Those who think when you have cancer you lose weight are dumb asses! Sure some do but most pack on a few pounds. Like almost 20 for me. I am vertically challenged so it shows. I am trying on sizes I haven’t worn since I was friggin pregnant. 2. We were hungry as hell!!! Why didn’t we get something to eat, even a pretzel?? Oh wait I was leading the bunch and no food till we succeed; I need to change that rule. 3. The stupid dumb implants that stupid dumb breast cancer gave me do NOT squish, like at ALL. And believe me we tried very hard to squeeze them in. It does not work!! UGH 4. I had an idea in my head and I wasn’t finding it. I want PINK but you know what is out right now (besides Duke)?? CORAL it is everywhere. I hate coral. 5. It was now 9:15pm and everything was closing. I mean how dare the mall close when I needed a dress. Home, hungry, deflated and crying. Wasn’t about the dress at this point. It was about the change in my body that I couldn’t control yet am stuck with. It was about how cancer for a brief moment was sneaking back into my life and making me lose it. I know I will get the weight off but for now it is on and it sucks! I do not like waiting just ask my BFF’s. They tried so hard but I was beyond help in the end. My Mr. Fixit was so good to me making me a snack and watching The Walking Dead with me, he knows how to cheer his girl up! SOOOOO, after soccer, grocery shopping, pizza dough making, screaming at the kids and getting beer making supplies I set back out. Oy vey, I love to shop but this was nut-JcPenney, Sears, Dougherty Masquerade (do not laugh I almost rented a princess dress) Macy’s, Plato’s, Eco Chic (we do not do CHEESY), Off the Rack, DAVID’S BRIDAL (I was desperate), Boom Babies then back to Destiny (OMG stop the madness). Luckily I have an amazing friend and daughter who went with me. SOOOO we went to BeBe, Hot Topic, Saks, BCDG (yes Diana you happy??), and another bridal store, Cache and about 5 others I cannot remember. FINALLY found a dress and I let everyone get a soda and a pretzel. Is it what I imaged, nope not at all. But my posse says it looks good. Is it bright pink, no pale pink. My posse says it is the right look. Is it cheesy, sparkle?? Well stop by Rain Lounge tomorrow night and see. But for now this princess is exhausted and needs her beauty rest. I have a show to put on tomorrow. Crap I hope these Queens let me do a few numbers, I have the dress after all!