It's better to look good than to feel good

After a little boob juice yesterday, a group of girlfriends and myself got all dressed up and had a wonderful gathering last night. The food AMAZING, the wine flowing like the Nile (how many bottles of "good" wine did we go through), the ambiance beautiful, and we looked MARVELOUS!!!! Now I have to say that just because I was wearing a pretty dress and some cute shoes (thanks Margret!!) on the inside I felt like shit. As my friend Fernando says "it's better to look good than to feel good darling". Which I have been quoting a lot, which I have realized no one gets! So check this SNL skit out.

Ok, now for my warped thoughts. Last night made me feel so great. I have known these women for 10 years and see most of them every day at the gym. We have formed a bond based on health. Our goal is to keep our bodies strong, but by creating these friendships we kept our minds even stronger. The group was so kind in their words about me. When they first met me they called me "mighty mouse" because my weights were bigger than my body, that makes me crack up. My one friend said she has learned through me how to treat and help a friend going through something like this. The host commented on how she learned that doing something for a person battling any illness is the only way to help, just asking to "call me if you need anything" doesn't do jack shit because they are never going to call. The fact that I have taught these women this means I have taught others these things, too, and that is exactly what I want to do! I heard things like "inspiration", "strong", "tough", "amazing" these words about little me. All so intense words to me because I feel just, well, average. I am just another girl fighting stupid dumb breast cancer my way. Ok, so here is my warped comment...they basically gave me my eulogy. Now most of you know that I have a funeral background which makes me have an odd sense of death. I have thought about eulogies a lot especially my own. We say all these wonderful words to people at their funeral, they can't hear this and it certainly doesn't make them feel good about themselves when they are gone. Let's face it, while they are alive, we talk smack. We judge each other and bitch about all "faults" others have then when they are gone all we can do is say how wonderful they are. WARPED when you think about it. So, I want to thank these amazing women for not just making me feel great when I felt like shit but saying such kind, sweet words about my bitchy self. Stupid dumb breast cancer: thanks for making my friends give me a living eulogy. Here is my advice today.....tell that someone how amazing they are right now, make them and yourself feel MARVELLOUS!!!!

***Footnote-there was that stanky bitch that said "go home and take your drugs, you look like shit", but we will ignore that since everyone else was nice!