Monday, January 28, 2013

The power of the stiletto

I really did try to sleep. I started at 10pmish and here it is almost 2 and I have had no luck. You would think the amount of drugs I have in me would knock a horse out apparently I haven't gained that much weight. Needless to say this will be a post that has misspelling, bad grammar and randomness so I hope you can follow, shit I hope I can follow.

Thursday they went in and took those parts out that helped me grow my 4 little monkey butts into these crazy as world. I went into that surgery with all sorts if advice-it's no big deal, easier than a mastectomy, horrible, you will feel like hell, I was back at the gym in a week, etc. I had no idea what to expect. As you can see from the previous post it kicked my ass. The doctors say that is normal considering I have had 5 surgeries in 6 months, my body is spent. I am sore all over for sure and honestly my vagina feels much like a back alley crack whore (not that I would know). I am just waiting and not eagerly for menopause symptoms to start.

Needless to say my mind is back on override. Preparing for the surgery was very tiring this go around. The kids were scared because they knew there is no guarantees of cancer free (things look good but until that pathology comes back....). Tom was nervous but tried so hard to just act calm, 20 years together told a different story. The family and friends were ready with meals, support, tea and new sparkly shoes. Attack mode!

With all this I completely forget about the oncology appointment that was to follow the surgery. This appointment was made August 21st when I first went to the oncologist for stupid dumb breast cancer. It's my 6 month follow up! Really already?? The reality is that if I had not been so busy planning, pre testing and getting my girly parts roto rootered (Google that) I would have been over thinking this appointment. Praise the hysterectomy! I am so happy that these last few nights I stayed up watching Teen Mom, Mob Wives, and other embarrassing shows instead of worrying about the "what if" of this visit.

My life has changed so dramatically in 6 months it blows my mind. Life can change so fast and take you on a journey that you never dreamed of. It can bring you happiness you never thought you deserved. Heart ache you never thought possible. Friendships you can never live without. Scars that will last to remind you of the bumps you overcome. A purpose you didn't know you were looking for.

 Some say "it's the easy cancer", "not real cancer", "just an abnormal cell" but to me cancer and is cancer. My journey these past 6 months taught me that cancer does not have a set face or rules, it is it's one entity. Cancer takes each individual on its own journey,down whichever road it sees fit. How you travel down that road is up to you. so for me, it doesn't  matter if my oncologist tells me I'm cancer free or we need more tests, I know how I will travel. That road may not be paved, as a matter of fact it's probably all gravel with big ass potholes, but I know I can dance, walk, run, skip if I want to down that road. Done of course in my sparkly 6 inch stilettos knowing just who will be there for me to hold on to if I need!


  1. This was a great've come so far. You've made this journey into your healing power with this blog. The new friends, the old ones and family we are all in your corner cheering you on. Your strength is inspiring, your
    attitude is lifting and you walking in those stilettos is amazing. Now..get off the internet, turn off the tv,put relaxing music on and for the love of God sleep. XO

  2. Cancer is cancer. There is no 'easy' cancer. I love your strength and uplifting spirit! I hope you're feeling better today! Take it easy okay?! XX

  3. OMG~ I Could not have said this better myself. I feel the exact same way...
    Get my final scan results today and even if my Dr says I'm cancer free I still have a mission I'm on. Hopefully AM we will be on that journey together..Loved this post..When you feel better you have to help me with my blog..Kathy Dukes on Google+ & how you get on there is beyond me..Plus I am 6 month's behind...Ha! Not tech savy. XXX sweetie, K.

  4. Keep walking the runway of like with those beautiful shoes, one 'click' of the stiletto at a time. I hope you recover soon and the menopause has the decency to wait until you feel a bit better. ~Catherine

  5. Great post~ I hope you are feeling better each HOUR! These last 6 months have seemed like 6 years to me as well. You do a lot to help others with their struggles and cancer is not easy! You're awesome~