We all make mistakes, everybody does. How we learn from them is our own choice, so choose wisely!
I started writing this when I found out it was a really a fake. I want to preface this by saying I know that help is needed. I get that, and I really hope she gets help, fast before more people are hurt. There is actually a condition for this. I have given her lots of chances to come clean but she seems to not want to face the real facts. There are people that need to stop praying for your cancer and I feel they need to know the truth. I want this said by me before the ones that are set out to hurt her take over. I do not want pain, just for this to end! Let me start at the beginning for those you do not know what cancer is like....
You get the word, the call the diagnosis "You have cancer". SHIT, are you kidding me?, am I going to die?, how did this happen?, what am I going to do? Among others, these things go through your head. Your friends and family members want so much to tell you it will be ok and they find ways to help, but if they never had cancer then they just do not really get it. So, it is 2012 and social media is at your fingertips (get it? cause you type, LOL). You search Google, you look at FB, hit Twitter then stop at Instagram. WOW, you find so many cyber friends all feeling those intense feelings. All going through the war against this disease that is taking rank on your body without your permission. You become friends with so many, now I do not mean "friends", I mean you cry with them, laugh and want them to be well. When a blogger friend died this year I sobbed, like a painful sob that I just lost a friend. The connection is real and strong, we call it "CANCER CONNECTION". The fact is we all need this so bad, not just for the advice and words of encouragement but to see we are not alone. I want to meet all these fighters, in Sweden, Netherlands, Canada, Italy, South Carolina, Florida, all over I want to meet, hug and cry with everyone! When I sent them their stupid dumb breast cancer shirt it made me so proud that they would honor me that way.
So do you get how important these friends are, so important. We post pictures to let each other know who we are doing, when the next surgery or treatment are, to make us laugh and sometimes to cry. Enter Katie, so sick with bone cancer. Telling us how she needs this next surgery to survive but the surgery is so scary. Showing us ALL her meds she takes. Pictures go up because she is back in the ER and is scared as hell. Telling us that she cannot go on she accepts death. Pray for her please. We did we pray, sent her so much encouraging words she must have been so happy. We told her we were here for her, told her our own personal struggles. Opened up so she knew she could trust us. Sent her a stupid dumb breast cancer shirt just because I care so much and wanted to lift her spirits, no charge Katie I know how poor you are. I cried cause she was so ill and I wanted to help her. Our heart was heavy for our friend battling and needing support. UNTIL.....
She was a cancer fake and so were her pictures. Her head was shaved for St. Baldrick's then to make it look like you lost it. These are the facts, we do not need to give it more than that.
I reached out to her before I did anything else. I gave her the chance to come to me for help. All she had to do was admit her lies to me. I hope everyone just stops and leaves her alone. She is getting help. Yes it was a lie that got out of control. But I am done trying and I really believe she needs to be exposed. Not to hurt her, because I believe she needs some major help, but to let those who she is seeking attention from know that she does not have CANCER. I am not trying to hurt her, but I am looking out for my friends who she is hurting with her lies, real friends who do not lie to each other! I also feel like this will help her. It will release her from the lie and I hope that she stops. I want her to move past this and get on with life. Those of us fighting right now will never understand why she did this, but I am done trying to figure it out. Katie says she has health issues, I just want her to get better. I want her to have peace.
I am asking everyone to not be mean or nasty, just delete her from your Instgram, FB, twitter and anywhere else. Stop the negativity and just move past this. Say your peace with her but do not add to this horrible lie. Katie needs her family to help her, she needs support that we can not give her unless she chooses to stop running and lying. For now we need to let her run away and let us not look back. Nobody needs hate mail, emails, texts or such. She was so wrong, but during the holidays, shouldn't we have a little compassion? So get pissed, but be the bigger person and let it go, let her go. Does being mean ever make you feel better? Say something nice or nothing at all. But karma has away to taking care of it all.
My husbands cousin did this and ended up doing jail time because she raised money for her "cancer". You are right, there is a very sad underlying mental illness that causes people to do this. I appreciate your ability to encourage others to be the bigger person and let it go, let her go. Our energy is needed here in this very real struggle with breast cancer.
ReplyDeleteAll my best,
Nicole (Starting ACT tomorrow)
My friend Nicole, I will be thinking of you tomorrow and sending you all my positive energy! Xo
ReplyDeleteThis is a "thing" happening out there in the cyber world. It's called being a "catfish" i think. there's actually a show on MTV (Catfish) about people who pretend to be someone or something they aren't online to make friends, relationships etc. It's crazy! Honestly, it sucks! Keep doing what you're doing so well AM. xxoo ( Helene M)
ReplyDeleteI know it happens it just boggles my mind!
DeleteI heard about this too and got SO ANGRY. Thanks for reminding me (and hopefully others) that compassion is still needed though. Why someone would want to fake having cancer is beyond me and honestly, as someone who is battling right now, I find it personally hurtful. I hope she gets the help she obviously needs. Thanks for keeping it real... yet again :)
ReplyDeleteI can keep it real but the fact she still has a Tumblr that says "terniamal bone cancer" pisses me off! UGH
DeleteYour post gave me goosebumps, especially because of the way you described 'cancer connection'. I totally feel the same way. Hugs for you my sweet friend!
ReplyDeleteYou are right about another thing, I will never understand why a person would claim to have cancer when in perfect health. Seriously?! She does need help.
I need this support and to tarnish it with lies makes me sad... Thanks chicka for also making me smile:)
DeleteSo how do you know who to trust? I seem to trust everybody and can't imagine of all things to pretend to have cancer..
ReplyDeleteIf I was going to pretend I'd pretend at least something fun like I'm a real life princess from some exotic location or I'm a famous fashion designer that just showed her collection at fashion week but never would I pretend to have cancer. My mother raised me with two really important morals,I raised my son with too..You never lie and you never steal..This fits in both catagories. Poor Girl, did she ever find out she got busted?