Friday, October 26, 2012

The end of Breast Cancer awareness month

My dad trying to obey the "no crying rule" before may mastectomy, wasn't easy for anyone.

This is the end of breast cancer awareness month and it made me think (yes that can only mean I need to  blog). BEFORE I got stupid dumb breast cancer I was a huge supporter of this cause, like massive. Just ask any team member of Cure or Bust and they will tell you how hard I tried to raise money for CNY Komen. I have a love for emails especially.  I always wanted the team to focus on the celebration of life, whether it is the lives fighting, surviving or lost I wanted to celebrate their battle, nothing says celebrate more than Jello-O shots! I wanted people to go to the race and be empowered by the pink sea of survivors, to see their family walking next to them to show their support and to see the friends who are wearing tutus honoring their friends. The day is really incredible! Did you register yet? I owned pink tie dyes with ribbons and other paraphernalia to show support. I would have people say to me "When did you have breast cancer?" I would reply "NO NO NO I never had it I am just supporting the cause". I was all about breast cancer awareness before then WTF May 5th came and smacked me.

I had no clue what was going to happen but I knew I wanted to be a survivor. I only told very few about the lump, the mammo and the lumpectomy, why worry anyone when it was probably nothing. I still remember standing in my doctor's office and hearing her say "I had to look at the name 5 times on this pathology report". I knew I had fucking cancer she didn't have to say it. The blog was born! Literally, instantly I wanted it out there. Yes, the photos came after but the idea was brewing.  I wanted to be public about it because that is how I was handling it. I was so scared because yes I knew women who won but I knew so many that died. I lost my mother from tragedy at 1 so the reality of my kids growing up without me was too fucking real. The harsh truth of my dad without my mom scared me for Tom. Death is fucked up and leaves an aftermath of pain that is embedded forever and I did not want that for my people. Plus I sparkle way too much!

So as I post on FaceBook or blog it's my way of spreading awareness of cancer. I want people to be aware of ALL stages and to hear so many different stories. Listen to Jackie, Ashley, Dolores, AnneMarie, Kate, Shari because their story by help you or someone you know. Yes if you actually read through my blog I do talk about other cancers but people I have breast cancer so that is what my focus is. I did not get the "easy" cancer I got CANCER. I was fortunate enough to have caught it early, but still suffering from all it brings. I have scars and surgeries and more doctor's appointments and tests then I ever want for anyone. Easy my ass and I got a big ass! I am doing all this STUPID DUMB BREAST CANCER for all those fighting, being diagnosed, and leaving this earth. I am raising money and awareness for them. I want people to see a small part of my journey and what the harsh reality can be. People walked away for the show with that and more. The pride in my family, my children, husband and friends eyes of being a part of this was awesome! They get it and they are my soapbox from where I yell, very loudly I might add.
I am done with the negativity- do not bring it to my page or the posts. I am here to raise awareness. If  you do not like it, I am sure there is another blogger you will like, none with fabulous shoes like me:) But this is not about me, it is about stupid dumb breast cancer and those it affects. I have raised the bar (Pink Stiletto anyone?) in what is expected of the pink ribbon.  November 1st does not end Breast Cancer Awareness month for me because I am aware every time I look in the mirror, I am painfully aware. I hope you all continue to read my blog, post on Face Book and join my Cure or Bust team because I am not stopping. I am not stopping until the pink ribbon is replaced by a pink stiletto!


  1. Your fight is our fight girlie. It's amazing how easy it is to kick ass in stelletos. Maybe it's the extra height or the sharp heels, either way it's a force to reckon with...sounds like some pint sized tough chick I know.

  2. 1) I was all prepared to go to the event last weekend but my dad asked to come in and spend the day with us and I couldn't miss the time with him.
    2) October ---- very mixed emotions. My mom passed away from complications fighting breast cancer October 13th three years ago. All of the pink ribbons, walks, media attention were very difficult in an already sad month. This year it was very different - this is my first year as a "survivor" and I found October to be a CELEBRATION of ME! Ok, I guess it isn't ALL about me,,,but I took that attitude and ran with it! Love the articles about early detection, love the products being sold to raise money for fighting this disease, love my "Survivor" shirt from doing my first walk,,,,and so much more!

    3) I have gained a new self talk at any perceived difficulty that comes my way "REALLY? You think THAT is going to faze me? You have no idea what I have endured and nothing can stop me now!"
    Keep up the blogs, facebook posts, educational messages - and soon I hope we will meet in person.

    1. I wish my blog had a LOVE button! You are awesome Bonnie and I hope you follow and join us on the events, I need to hug you:)

  3. Hi,

    I have a quick question about your blog, would you mind emailing me when you get a chance?



  4. Love that photo with your dad, he looks like such a sweetheart. The emotion on his face.. wow. As for the rest I can only say: rock on lady!

    1. Thanks lady, he is the best! make sure you check and "like" the facebook page

  5. Hello! Just wanted to let you know that I used this blog post in my "Month of Pink....Vehicles" Awareness Campaign!
    Here is where you can find it: (at the bottom)
    I also posted it on my facebook pages: and


    1. WOW thanks for the shout outs! Anyway we can spread the word is fabulous by me:)
      Make sure you "like" the fb page:)

  6. Hi,
    I have a blog that's about resilience and we recently posted a review of Elizabeth Edward's book . Seeing that pic of your father got me thinking. What books (,etc.) do you and your support team find inspirational or which books offered practical advice about staying positive and driving through the challenge?