Saturday, June 15, 2013

Time to honor the daddy-o's



First let me say that my heart goes out to all those who are missing their fathers today. I know your pain all too well. These made up holidays suck. It is crazy how a Hallmark holiday can make you so sad. I will not say all those stupid comments like "enjoy your kids", "remember the good times" or it gets easier. All that crap is just crap when your heart hurts. Losing someone especially a parent is hard and really doesn't get easier. Second I am sorry that this post is about a made up holiday but my dad is awesome so I have to. 

My father is far from perfect, way far. Our whole life he has been an emotional basket case. He thinks and acts with his emotions before calming down. But the truth is he has taught us to have emotions not to be cold heart jerks who don't know how to feel.  He loves completely sometimes making it hard to discipline his wild children. Car crashes, boy chasing, pot smoking, fights, teeth knocked out, drunks, sneaking out, dropping out, breast cancer, divorces you name it we got. Believe me this wasn't all me I have never been divorced! I don't think we were ever grounded, ever and believe me we should have been. What he has taught us is to love our children no matter what they are going through. He taught us to be there for them and stand by their side with nothing but love. We  didn't  grow up rich but boy we never wanted for a thing my father always put our needs first. Sure we all should have had major therapy after my mom died but the love he gave us  while he was suffering got us through. There is the one thing he did that was vital to who we are now is he loved our mother. There is this saying "The best thing a father can do for his children is love their mother", my dad did that beyond words. Beyond the regular love, beyond the simple "I love you". He showed us love and respect really that is what you need most in life that is what you need to give! I don't think this love comes around a lot but he had it and that love reflected on us. It is the one thing I can never fault him for. I think that is why he can love Deb too, he has a lot of love to give. Just ask any of our friends who all consider him a dad. Better yet ask Tom, Karen or Jon if they use the term "father-in-law" or just father.

 

As a grandfather he is perfect!!! Anthony wrote a card the other day and it said.  "You are the greatest grandfather that ever there was", honestly he is. If you ask Matt he will tell you just that, ask Nicole and she will confirm. Jess will only brag even more and Lowell will add to it. Ben will tell you how awesome he is and it will be the only time him and Sam agree. Julian will tell you he was the one who told Anthony that Pa is their Pa and he is all they need. He comes to soccer, track, swim, volleyball, concerts everything. He does it because he wants to not because he has to. Everyone knows and loves Pa because he is the ultimate grandfather. Our children are so spoiled and lucky. The best thing is they know that he is awesome and love him right back. We have the coolest family don't hate, hahahah.



I have to end this with my husband as a dad. We have totally different parenting styles I am a yeller he is not. But like my dad he loves our boys and does it unconditionally and believe me they are royal  pains. The real thing is  like my father he love his wife. Is it a perfect love, no but it's real and solid. I hope one day my boys see the love their father gives me and gives it to their partner. If they ever leave us that is.  I hope they treat them like royalty just like my knight treats his princess. Well, most of the time!

 

 

11 comments:

  1. Beautiful post, and so sensitive. Cherish the day, and every day :) xxx

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  2. That's a beautiful expression. I'd never thought of it like that before, but it seems so true. Happy father's day (tomorrow) to all the incredible men in your life! ~Catherine

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    1. Thanks lady, hope you smiled 3 times today!

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  3. I love that saying you mentioned, "The best thing a father can do for his children is love their mother". It's so darn true. Sounds like your dad is top-notch. Mine's quietness sort of drives me crazy sometimes, but he's a real gem as well. Thanks for the post.

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  4. dear amer o,

    i got such happiness reading your post, a tribute to your dad. one of the first things i noticed when hugh took me to his home to meet his parents was how much his dad showed his love for hugh's mom. he was retired by that time and his offical opinion was why should ann (hugh's mom) do chores by herself when they could do them together so he could help her and make it fun. i never saw them apart, whether it was doing laundry, washing dishes, preparing a meal - they joked and teased and pecked each other on the cheek liberally. he always called her "my bride". who could have known that hugh's mother would suffer a terrible illness and die only a few years later? in his grief he somehow decided to pick up the reins of his wife's most talented and loving manner of being the glue that kept a huge family connected. from 1964 untill 2012, when dad died at 100 yrs and 2 months, he sent out cards to dozens of family and friends for every holliday and occasion. if he heard one of our kids was sick, here would come a card along with a check to have fun with when they recovered. we moved from michigan to nj and dearly missed our home state's treats. for years and years he sent us twice monthly deliveries of vernor's ginger ale and sander's hot fudge ice cream toppings. as our grandchildren came along, he sent sweet packages of little teething rings, baby girl or baby boy toys and storybooks he picked out himself. when his son, my hugh, was diagnosed with cancer, he sent a get well card every day (except sunday - no delivery) for nearly 3 years. when i was diagnosed with BC, he did the same for me. the joy and utter happiness he spread resided in his heart, it kept him totally independant, driving his car, living in his own townhouse, on a bowling league, making rounds of phone calls to all his children and 17 grandchildren several days a week, all in honor of his beautiful bride. is it any wonder that i had such a wonderful and happy marriage for 46 years with a man who mirrored his dad's love for his mother? nope, just as your dad, whose love for your mom resided in his heart gave you and your siblings and now your children the same beautiful and lasting influences that makes him the superb patriarch of your family. happy father's day to your dad, and to your husband, amer o. thanks for sharing this heartwarming story.

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    1. <3 you are loved by them and me:0)

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  5. AM...

    And yet ONE MORE reason why we are two bodies, one mind, one life experience.....

    First... I Love That Quote... always have....

    Second..... third and up to one million.... Everything else you wrote. This is simply beautiful. I've been an emotional basket case these past few days over Kites and Bette and scholarship presentations... and it's amp'ing up over the next couple of weeks. Through eyes glazed over with tears, I WISH my dad were here to see how much my life has changed since he was stolen from our lives. I know you understand because I'm sure you miss you mom...

    I love you deeply my friend.... Very Very deeply...

    xoxox

    AM

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    1. Life did one thing right...brought us together! XO

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