Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Menopause is the new puberty, minus the sex drive….


hair
The new hairy boobless me
Cancermenopause, yes it is a word. It is my word and do not even try to tell me different! Here is the deal, most woman hit menopause in stages. They gradually come on and you learn how to deal with them. They sometimes give you hormones to balance that all out as well. Then you get stupid dumb breast cancer and things change in the menopause world! When they take ALL your hormone out and you cannot have any hormone because you have a hormone cancer, you my friend are in full blown cancermenopause! I remember being in the hospital and about 7 hours after surgery the nurse said “have you had a hot flash?” I thought, there is no fucking way after 7 hours that would happen. AHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAH!!! I was sitting watching “Bridesmaids” with my girlfriends, nice and medicated from the pain pills, eating some firecracker chocolate (how apropos) when holy hot sauce the wave of heat came over me. It is literally like you are burning from the inside!! You instantly want to rip all your clothes off and jump in a bath of ice, would not have been a pretty sight since this was 28 hours post op!! No shit this happened that fast. Did I tell you I cry during “Walking Dead”, who does that? It is zombies and killing but when a walker dies it is water works, I mean they were someone’s loved one, wah wah wah! One minute I am super happy cause the kids are sleeping the next homicidal cause Tom left the cupboard door open then I am sobbing cause Anthony hugged me. I know you are thinking that is normal for me but sister I am telling you I do NOT CRY!!! The rest of that is normal do not leave the god damn cupboard doors open. I feel like I am on an emotion roller coaster. I swear to god Menopause is the new puberty! Can we talk hair GROWTH!!?? Most of my cancer girls are wishing their hair would come back in, trust me Denise you are not hairy at all, Cecile if I could give you my status on this I would. They took the estrogen out now my testosterone is on over drive. I need a haircut every other friggin week, I am shaving at an alarming pace and do not even look at my arms! Crap, I am full blood Italian I do not need any more damn hair!! The night sweats followed the night after the surgery. You wake up drenched in sweat and not wanting anything to touch you, sorry Tom! I now am basically sleeping naked cause that seems to help, again sorry Tom to make you get all hot and bothered. Wait that is what I am but not at all in the sexual way, UGH!!!! See it isn’t just night sweats, hot flashes and mood swings it is all the other shit that goes with it. Now one would think with all that testosterone I would be well, wanting to have lots of sex. NOPE! UGHHHHH, sex drive is in grandma speed. I love my husband and all he does for me, especially here. This is the one time I agree with my family, god bless Tom! WTF, took my boobs, my girl parts, my energy, left with scars, and now people sex drive is added to the list. Does anyone have any Viagra??



14 comments:

  1. True story . . . I have been riding that train for 13 years! It does get less intense though.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yowzers. I am feeling for you Anne Marie. Back when I had menopause (during chemo and Zolodex) I used to sleep on towels since I'd soak right through! I hope these crazy symptoms chill out for you eventually. ~Catherine

    ReplyDelete
  3. I totally feel for you! Sadly, I'm going through all that for the SECOND time! Yes~ my fun little pill gives me all those symptoms again that I had already dealt with for 10 years (I started early). SDBC totally sucks!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Damn woman!! SDBC needs to go:) thinking about you and your smile!!

      Delete
  4. Your blog has become my favorite! I absolutely LOVE your attitude, your straight-forwardness, everything! I'm 22, was diagnosed with breast cancer 2 months ago & I'm at the beginning stages of getting all this shit started.

    Here's to us! Survivors. Warrior Queens!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks so much! I would love to get your story are you on FB? If so inbox me there or email me if you are not! Power to us warrior princess (a queen does too much work, lol)

      Delete
  5. I remember my mother telling me that when she had her complete hysterectomy (at 45yo...when I was 5yo), she woke up on the recovery room table in a hot flash! So yeah...that fast. :-(

    When I became an adult, I remember asking her how she handled things when she got home from the hospital, during that time. She said: "I didn't have any choice, Annie...I put one foot in front of the other & went ahead with life. I was 45 years old and had a 5 year old in kindergarten. What else was I supposed to do?"

    Gawd, the indignities women endure!! Yet the power we have...the sheer, utter, abounding strength. We are so the incredibly superior gender. >:-)

    I wish I could make this better for you but I can't. I don't even live close enough to bring over a meal or change your sweaty sheets for you. But if knowing someone is praying for you & thinking of you often...and wishing you well...helps, then you got that, girl. Lots of prayers, lots of thoughts, lots of wishes... from somebody you've never met but who cares all the same.

    --Andrea
    XOXOXO

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Andrea, my tears are flowing thanks so much!! That means the world to me. I lost my mom when I was 1 and going through this without her as sucked! I will let your well wishes flood me!!!
      XOXO

      Delete
  6. I love reading your blog! I haven't gotten to the hysterectomy yet (they say that will come within the next year or so) , but I have started the hot flashes and what the docs are calling early menopause, but I like your word better! I, myself am 29 and just got diagnosed in november. Thanks for sharing your story!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lisa, If you would like to share your story on my FB I would LOVE to hear it. email me:) Thanks so much for reading!

      Delete
  7. Congrats! What a relief wew! Yeah! Upward and onward!!! Here's to health and happiness. You deserve it. :)
    **01**Meditation uk
    **02** Green Tea Tips *
    **03**Mental depressed *

    ReplyDelete
  8. I just started my Tamoxiflashes. Really attractive, combined with the heat rash I get with each flash. Oh, JOY!

    ReplyDelete