Caring kids....

Join us on December  22 for 1-3pm at the Towne Center Community room located in back of Target, as we make cards or posters for the cancer patients at the areas radiology and oncology centers. Stupid dumb breast cancer would love to have enough for all the centers. This event is for children in first grade and up. The older children will pair up with the younger ones to help with the writing. Parents must stay!!! We will have hot cocoa and cookies. This event is a great way to show the children that there are people battling for their life even during the holidays. I will be taking donations of poster boards, paper, stickers, hot cups, napkin, hot cocoa, and packages cookies before the event so please contact me amandtom@msn.com . This is an open house event, you do not need to be here for 2 hours, stop in make a card and get on with the hustle of the day. . 

Ok so another idea! For those not in New York but want to participate, have your kids make the cards and send to me. Or send them to your local Oncology/Radiology center, just tell them Stupid Dumb Breast Cancer sent you!

My girl wants to party all the time

Cousin and gal pal, LOL

My GIRL!!!

Shots anyone??

So there is this girl I love...



Shot boy and shot girl

One of these people owes me a carpet cleaning, LOL

PARTY!!

Cheese girl

"I never get a pic of you guys doing a shot"

If you did not know, I LOVE a party. The bigger the better, the louder the funner  (I put that in for Tom he loves my spelling) and the more the merrier. We love to throw a “Kick off the Holidays” party every year; next year will be 10 years! This year the party held so much meaning. Yes, everyone was happy I am doing well, they were all there to raise a glass to celebrate life, almost everyone had a splash of pink on and they all loved the shots (almost 300, is that wrong??), But for me it was about so much more. I kept looking around at the people that helped in so many ways and could not help to get misty eyed; I was not going to cry because I was the princess of the party!!!  I watched as my family and friends danced around to some loud music, they ate the food I made (ok I did buy some of that shit but hey I have cancer!!), they begrudgingly took the shots that I pushed on them, but what they did most was SMILE!! My house was filled with so much positive energy I can still feel the love.  There were so many funny, happy, crazy moments I keep reflecting and cracking up.  

Sister in laws, friends too

Best shoes, well except mine:)

I do not think Bill Cosby intended pudding to be in a shot!

Breast exam

OK SERIOUSLY a TRADITION

Seriously Margret are you sure he is of age?

Much easier without the cookies!

You can dance....for inspiration!!

 

How cute are they?

me and "G"

BEAUTIFUL

DUCK FACE

Hey Tom....

Things that cracked me up…..

·         Nothing like the minister’s wife YELLING “HEY HONEY FEEL HER BOOBS THEY ARE FREEZING!!!” I wonder if his sermon had that in it???

·         The night was complete with my sister doing a shot (or 2), which she NEVER does!

·         My brother insisting all he ate was shrimp and “that spinach thing, was anyone near the table while he ate and ate and ate, LOL!

·         My girl Karen and her husband getting down, DAMN Nat I did not know you had those moves!

·         My husband’s SHOES!!! Even he sparkled.

·         My son Ben telling me “Mom really you should have made pink Jell-O shots:, he is right, next time Elana!!!

·         Having 2 great seniors as DD and making them stay up past their bedtime

·         A sweet friend who will remain nameless dropping her coffee mug then stepping back and busting her ass on the floor, sorry I laughed first, hope you are ok?! BLAHAHAH

·         My cousin Tom wearing his food and drink, stay classy kid.

·         Ted and his argyle socks

·         Rosie taking home the leftovers from her Barbie drink

·         Look at these drinks that someone left FULL, this is alcohol abuse right Brent? “RIGHT!” Kristin “where is my drink?” OOOPPSSSS

·         Tracy can you say CHEESE!!!!

·         Rosie and Tom when it’s almost 3am and you are STILL here. Just sleep over!!!

·         As always my shot girl and now my shot boy, LOVE them!

SISSY

my daddy o and G-Deb

My Bro and his lady

2 of my Favorite peeps



A lot of love...for Nikki's leg

Happiness!

 



Duck love

Andy giving more LOVE

Dude, I do my own breast EXAM

 

BUDS

Aaron where is the ice?



Bunny ears??



Jason and his duck face!

And you are???

I swear no more shots

Chin there is something on your shirt right Jill?

Brookside men

Candy girl



God daughter god mother combo

East meets north

It was an amazing night and I had so much fun. But I will not lie, I am STILL tired. This is my month for celebrating and getting my head in the game for January, where Stupid Dumb Breast Cancer will be beat down again.

 

Grandma Jennie

Always cooking, ALWAYS! She literally smelled like garlic

My dad's mom had stupid dumb breast cancer when I was like 5. It really is the first memory I have as a child. My mother died when I was 1 (that’s another post, well maybe someday) and my Grandma Jennie helped take care of us. Now I am not one to sugar coat anything so while she LOVED me that wasn’t the case for my siblings and some cousins. Grandma Jennie had a hard side and if you messed with her you were done. She actually didn’t even let some of them in her house, yet I slept over all the time. Sure she was tough on them, I am sure they were rotten in some way.  But this is about me so we won’t go into that! I however, was her princess and she spoiled me rotten, so I am not complaining. She did have a moth like a truck driver. When asked what was for dinner she would reply “Shit and Piss now go play”. And you wonder where I get my mouth?!

 She was the typical Italian Grandma always cooking and cleaning and I was her helper. I learned how to cook and clean through her very meticulous ways. I played bingo with her, went to get her hair done, we watched EVERY soap opera on TV, played Gin Rummy like crazy and I just loved being around her. Then all of a sudden the word “cancer” was in our vocabulary. I don’t remember much and what I do it vague. I remember waiting in the waiting room for her to come out of surgery. My dad, uncles, aunts and a few cousins come into my memory. I know I couldn’t go see her because of my age and I waved to her from the window, I do remember missing her so much. Then she was out and doing well. I have no memory of chemo or radiation but remember her having to stretch her arm up the wall, which I am doing now.

I love this one!

What I vividly remember is this…..I slept at her house weekly and we would come home from bingo and get into bed and watch Johnny Carson! She had a pink silk night cap and silk pillow to keep her hair from messing up. I loved to sleep on that pillow so much. She would take her bra off in front of me and that’s when I saw it. Grandma Jennie had one breast; the other was prosthesis in a pocket of her bra. Her shoulder had an indent because the bra was so heavy. I hated the way her shoulder mark was. Honestly what I loved to do was wear the bra! Sometimes I would put the fake boob on my head and walk without it falling. What a whacko I was?

 Then there was the scar. She let me run my finger across it, not in a fun way but because I needed to see she was ok. I asked her over and over through the years “Did it hurt?” “Are you sad?” she never gave me a real answer. Always, “no big deal” or “sad, I don’t have time to be sad” sometimes “have a meatball”.

As I take all the steps involved through this stupid dumb breast cancer, I wonder what went through her head and how she really felt. We didn’t talk about it but it wasn’t hidden in our family either. I remember everyone being worried and helping every way they can but it still makes me wonder how she really felt.

My HS graduation with my Grandma Dunni, we will blog about her later

I have been grappling lately with my choice to get implants. I really hate these foreign fucking things. I hate the fakeness of them, how they feel and especially how cold they are “Like a corpse” my girlfriend said great friend right? LOL!! Maybe I should have not done reconstruction, but the choice has been made and I need to find a way to be accepting of these boobs.

 I wonder if Grandma Jennie just accepted this and moved on. I have this feeling she did. I never heard her complain or say "Why me?". Whatever the case is I am proud of her bravery. She did not fall even back when breast cancer was scarier than it is now. She was a strong women and a force to be reckoned with, her bad side was not a good side to be on. Rock on Grammie thanks for leading the way for me, I am sure you had no idea where it would take me! I know she sent me crazy love along with my Grandma Dunni, my mother and my friend Lisa. It is good to have loved ones in high places, literally:)

Library series

I am so excited for this library event! Some of the photos will be up on display starting December 1^st, check them out. On December 10 at 7pm I will be giving a short presentation about this journey Stupid Dumb Breast Cancer has taken me on. While the photos are raw, graphic and uncensored my vocabulary will be guarded, I promise.  I want people to feel comfortable bringing young adults and teens to this. It is so important for them to see not just the images but to see the support that friends and family give. How we as a community, family, girlfriend, father empower each other to get through the hard times. With that in mind bring a friend. This is a battle we all are fighting and we need friends to battle with. Make it a save your breast date. If you bring a friend The Dazzle Store in Manlius is offering 10% off coupons to you both! Great store showing fantastic community support, if you haven’t been to the store you need to check it out. Check their Facebook out https://www.facebook.com/stupiddumbbreastcancer?ref=tn_tnmn#!/thedazzlestore?fref=ts or their website www.newdimensions1.com Thanks so much to Dazzle for adding some sparkle to this event.

The community has been incredible with their support and it really continues with this event. The library will be giving free a coffee to anyone who purchases a shirt! The staff at the library especially Brenda has welcomed Stupid Dumb Breast Cancer with such enthusiasm it is truly amazing.  This event is not only showing everyone the real side to breast cancer but raising the awareness to a new level. I am so proud of what it coming out of this journey. Thanks to everyone involved!

I will not let breast cancer take my holiday

A sample ot today's work

I started at a little before 7am and just finished. Yes it took me longer than normal, yes my back is killing, my chest is sore and yes I only made 13 instead of 16 different types of Holiday cookies. BUT I FUCKING DID IT!! Everyone kept saying "You don't have to make cookies this year", "This can be your year off", "Why bother?" I will certainly explain!
First, I am a baker and I love making cookies for Christmas. I have been doing this for so long I can not even remember when I wasn't making them. I have rules- well just one, stay out of my way! So Tom happily takes the kids out of the house all day. My entire family looks forward to my cookies. Cooking for people you care so much about when made with love is such an incredible feeling. I want them to feel that every year.
Second, I had to show myself that even through all that has happened, how I am feeling and what is up next, I can still do this. I realized how tired I was, so I stopped and didn't make the last three. Maybe I will or I won't, I am not worried. I have to admit cutting the bar cookies was difficult, which pissed me off but made me more determined.
Third, yes they drive me nuts and need to get the fuck out of the kitchen when I am bakin,g but when Tom and the boys came home smelled the house it was worth it. Anthony was excited his favorite kind were coming out of the oven, Sam wanted the three layers "so bad", Julian ate an Anise ball and proclaimed them the best, Ben took his favorite split levels to his buddy's and Tom tried at least four saying that this year his favorite was the Anise,  like Jules. This made me feel like I gave cancer another kick. I know to some reading this you are like "She needs medication!", but right now being able to bake all day is huge. Making it to another holiday is magnificent!! I wanted to just be able to do this without stupid dumb breast cancer getting in the way.



Happy Holidays from the Otis Family!
Taken days after my double mastectomy

Anyone who knows me knows I do three things at the holidays, bake a ton of  cookies all in one day (DONE!!), throw a killer Holiday party (next weekend, whoot whoot) and I have to be the first holiday card you get. Yes I know I could have taken this year off I get that. HELLLSSSS NOOOO!! I hope that when some of you (sorry I can not mail it out to everyone that visits my blog) got your mail today it was in there and you opened it. I even wrote on every single card, in pink of course. I love getting and giving holiday cards and I wasn't going to make this year any different. I love the holidays and my OCD ways!

Thanksgiving

Funny how a little  breast cancer gives Thanksgiving a whole new perspective. I used to have some snarky comment about stealing land from the Indians, but now I just have thankful thoughts. Ok I still have snarky comments, but I am more thankful than ever. I am not sure how I could ever express all my thanks and how overwhelmed with it I am. I am thankful I had enough breast education to get my lump checked and to pursue it beyond a "normal" mammo. I am so thankful for my doctors who I trust and know they are doing all that they can to keep me alive and focused. I am thankful for all those who support and help STUPID DUMB BREAST CANCER because this is my mission now. I am thankful for every single friend that brought me dinner, a cancer gift, took my kids, held my hand, threw me a party, listened to me cry or was just here. I am beyond thankful for my family who loves me so much and worries with me through all my worries and supported me (and obeyed the "no crying" rule). I am thankful for my babies and all the gentle hugs and the pride they have encountered supporting their momma! I am thankful for my TFO that even through the rough spots he is there holding me and loving me. I am just thankful this year. I am giving thanks for breathing. This Thanksgiving raise your glass to LIFE, SALUD!  ("to health!"in Italian).

My crazy ass Italian Family